Ouch… that hurts!!!

Terrible pain… my old spinal injury has been giving me pain lately, especially when I get coughs or flu. This time round, it got worst…

After 2 days of bad cough, I felt pain on my lower back… decided to ignore it as it happens every time I fall sick. So I went back to work. When I reach office, the pain grew worst and I find myself limping. Then my colleagues told me that my body was leaning to one side… Bad!!!

Went to both Chinese & Western Doc for medication and finally to Polyclinic for referral to NUH. Dislike the thought of having to go through the process of waiting for consultation and medical scans… and hopefully no surgery is required!

Thoughts of my past hospital stay resurface during my visit to NUH, Granddad has been hospitalized. Seeing him lying in the bed looking so frail and helpless brought me all my memories… 9 years back…

I’ve told Ling before that after my operation, I long for someone to visit me… not only because I feel lonely, more so because I feel so helpless… can’t do even the simple things I usually take for granted. I recall that I couldn’t really move my hands to bring the food up to my mouth. Every action results in tremendous reaction of pain… and more pain… Even peeing requires nurses help to bring the urinal (I can’t move hor…) and must plan in advance (after the 1st night, I ask for the urinal first… cos they might not response in time… heheheh)

I couldn’t sleep due to both pain and hot weather… there was no available air-con ward and I couldn’t turn much in bed… cause me to sweat and my back starts to itch… lucky my friend told me to ask the nurse to give me morphine if the normal painkillers doesn’t help. Morphine really helps to numb the pain and at least I get a few hours of sleep.

Looking at Granddad, I can feel his pain… fortunate that he has been put on morphine and oxygen, which helps in breathing and pain reduction. Going under the knife is never fun (I use to think that staying in hospital was fun and cool too). I personally feel that our body is like a vacuum pack…. Once open, no matter how tiny the gap is… it’s never the same again even you seal it up…

Even though Granddad is still weak and in a daze, he still ask how’s my back… and reminded me to be careful… when we leave, he still remind us to drive carefully…

I hope that we’ll learn to respect and love our body; you never really appreciate how wonderful it functions as a whole until we lose the ability to do so… even though it might be temporary… I never knew that standing up or walking requires so much co-ordination till my operation, where I have to re-learn this basic movement.

So much for my babbling, really hope that my medical checkup will go smoothly and all my worries are uncalled for. I also hope my granddad to have a smooth and fast recovery from the ops.